I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize