So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
