If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
He is an equal opportunity slut.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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