so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
