His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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