My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
