I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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