i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
