She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
