So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
