dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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