you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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