We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Randomize
