I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
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