No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
