we're chasing vodka with high fives
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
