do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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