wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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