I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
