i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Randomize
