belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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