i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
