Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
