just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
My vagina is very pro this idea
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
