i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
