Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
The feeling are messing with the penis
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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