Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
