you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
