i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
