How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
