Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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