and you said cock pushups were impossible
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
