can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
too bad you live with your parents still
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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