awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
