So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize