Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Randomize
