Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
