Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
handjob tips. give me some.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I party with great urgency now.
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