just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
