I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
