he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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