A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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