hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
