I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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