I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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