I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
