i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
