Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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