if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
