ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
