remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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