I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
