I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
