she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
