Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I will pee on everything he values.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
