possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
