im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
