I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
